anniversary

hey, so i'm here and i'm here to stay. honestly, i'm a people's person. so i really love people. in fact, i'd be really sad if people weren't comfortable with me. but of course, im uncomfortable with some people too so i know that idea is way unrealistic.

rereading my old posts made me realise how documenting my own progress is important. and i hope to look back to this blog and laugh at my misery.

dear future me,
well if you wanna know, you're doing pretty great :D yeap, you are and i'm proud of you. <3

i've been going out a lot lately, and wasting my money like crazy. i've always been so careful in spending money on myself, i'm literally soooo kedekut with my money i cant even buy myself food but yes, i've given someone i love very much new airpods and an ipad :] i know, even my friends  tell me i'm stupid and i believe that too. but i would swim the oceans and walk on a fire for the people i love.

is this normal?

because i don't know.

i don't know how i'm so selfless.... i literally put everyone else before me and it hurts sometimes because maybe i'm hoping to be the first in someone's life. being the second child, i've always felt like i'm never enough. although honestly, my parents always gave me more than my sister (or i think?) but i always feel as if people never love me like i do.

but yeah, looking back at this blog's motto(lol) i just gotta continue being positive i guess :|

lately i've been sad, yes and I always hang out with mimi because he's a great friend with witty jokes but also because I guess he empathises my situation? and also because he laughs extra dramatically watching Kimmy and that makes me feel good about myself because I suggested it (yes, i'm that awesome).

but nah, i'm not here to talk about mimi, but i guess the root which is friends. remember when i said that God answered my prayers? well, i went out with 승화 and 유진 last monday and I was soOo happy ^_^

i once had a friend who said that it was a shame that i've lived with only Malay friends throughout my whole life and of course, I too was jealous! I wanted to meet people from all around the world and learn their culture and lil did I know, Korea was the place I was able to do so.

at idae, i met friends from US, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Singapore and it was such an amazing experience! most of them were older than me but gotta admit we were like sisters and I loved it so much 🥺
ok i dont think im actually in the mood to update about specific things but God I honestly think I need to see a therapist, like seriously. i need help. all of my thoughts are jumbled up ugh i hate it.

im so full of energy and its overwhelming i dont know where to express it so here i am trying to do it through this blog but haih idk pls send help....

the title of today's post has nothing to do with today. there never was any kind of anniversary.

lol i sound so depressed no i am not i am okay husna is okay :DD

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