Finals and Faith



22/6/2017 (an excerpt from my journal+thoughts)

I'm now in the bus on my ride back home. @Nilai currently. I just want to talk a bit. Really! I feel like crying after what happened to me at TGB.

As people always say,

Girls are so emotional. They cry when they're super happy and when they're so sad.

I feel as if I have a stronger connection to God and it feels so good to see my circle of friends and the environment change slowly to better than before.

one situation that made me teary eyed was the exams held recently, final semester 1/2017. I always thought history would repeat itself.

Last year, I did rather good for my Standardized Test 1 for my first semester, but my Finals dragged my marks for my pointer, as well as my dignity. Let's just say a boy named JJ happened and I was overly comfortable with my  first test that I went to class to watch movies instead of studying.

yes, i know i should have not done that. i suck. yeah, yeah.
therefore, i didn't want the banana to fruit twice (pisang berbuah dua kali lol) so, I knew I had to work my butt off this year due to SPM, and of course I NEED THE SCHOLARSHIP. But it started as a failure as I flunked my first UPSS1. I mean, I got 3.11 for that time! and I was the 11th in class, which is a record as I usually never get more than 10, but I did once, in Form 2, the era of my Instagram-crazed self.

but this time, I didn't have to worry about Instagram, but I was sick that time. So sick that I didn't really go to school for a week. I felt like dying with bloody snot. It was the worst. So when I saw that I almost failed Add Maths, I couldn't really put myself to give a shti about it.

After UPSS2, of course I rekindled the energy to study. I was bloody embarrassed by myself. I already knew that my marks this time were pretty okay, it was the first time I got an A for BM, which even my teacher praised me for, I got an A for Add Maths, but what was frustrating was that I still didn't move on from my B+ for chemistry and I got a C+ for English due to partial treatment for my essay.

  Anyhow, my worries changed during Final as I got an A for both Chemistry and English! Although my A couldn't really help my C+ so I got a FAT A-, 78 for my PNG. but Alhamdulillah got an A for chemistry.

Sadly, I got a B+ for BM, so I only got an A- for my PNG. but hey, I never tought I'd actually get straight As at TGB, because well, upper form is undeniably hard weh.

What I think helped me this time?

Allah.
Allah.
Allah.

I asked for him night and day for Straight A for these upcoming exams, yet I didn't specify STRAIGHT A PLUS.

My teacher once said that if you want something from Allah, ask for it specifically and be confident of what you want, with hard work and effort, of course.


I just felt like sharing this story because Wallahi, Allah has always gave me what I wanted, but this was the changing moment where I realised what Allah was trying to show me.

have faith in Allah.

xx,

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