fake

 hey guys,

for a while ive been having some thoughts, which is about friends. sometimes i'm sad and i don't feel like i  helping them out because they too, don't even check up on me nor come to my aid when im feeling sad.

but i learnt thats okay. but idk lately i dont feel like talking to my friends that much. i wanna be alone. i'd be grateful if there ever are people to check up on me, but i don't feel that way anymore. 

i used to envy seeing other people happy, because I too, wanted to be happy. but as time passes by, i realised i should just be happy for them and learn that my time, too will come.

and it did, but not most of the times. but i learned that its okay. my life has its own journey and process, and everyone else's journey is different from mine. i should accept that fact.

if you're reading this and you're a close friend of mine, i'm sorry if i dont talk to you as much as I do. i honestly don't have that much energy like i used to. maybe this is what adulting is? my age is exponentially increasing with my decrease in energy.

or maybe its because you're one of the friends that only come to me for money, or for help then ditch me like i'm nothing. i don't like to be the one who's bitter and all but i have learnt to distance myself from these people for the serenity of my own heart. 

but in all honesty, i only have like 1 or 2 friends like this so the possibility that it isn't you is high haha. i love all my friends and grateful. if i could make a list of what my friends have taught me in life, i would. i love the experience of getting to know people and it certainly helped change my perspectives in a positive way.

p.s im actually writing this on a sunday at 0253hrs because i just woke up. i slept around 9 i think and woke up at somewhere around 0130hrs. i'm honestly mentally and physically drained right now. i'm working on a team project for software engineering with seniors, i have java assignments, have a book report and so much more... im afraid i dont have much time left and i'm scared. please pray for me >_<

xx,

husna

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