unsure

 hey guys,

i think i haven't been myself lately, which is honestly a good thing and also a bad thing. i love that i no longer feel the urge of excitement to post on social media but that also made me more distant from my friends. i guess thats also because i always engage with them through social media, replying to their posts and all.

i dont know what changed in me. maybe the drastic change that happened recently really just shocked me, leaving me speechless. honestly more than three of my friends personally messaged me and said they haven't been talking to me that much....

i'm also sad, honestly, i don't have the energy no more and i feel so sad that its like that? there are friends i used to love so much and talk to them and be excited sharing stuff and the conversation would feel so wholesome and leave me breathless and hyperventilating due to the thrill of everything.

maybe this is just the final exam syndrome? honestly i don't know? for the few people who have read my blog, thank you. thank you for caring.

and i'm sorry if i haven't done much for you i really am trying. right now i'm just so stuck. i feel like a void and its eating me slowly.

this isn't who i am. i know. i hate this new me.

but pain changes you. i still am trying to be positive everyday but it isn't that easy. 

for now, if i could express how i am, i'd say im neutral. im literally the 😐 emoji right now. 

:| 

i'm trying though, i really am.

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